hey every1 i have nothing to write or actually i have no inclination to write anything interesting.so i decided to write about myself u know this is my favourite topic and i can go on on and on abt myself but il try to keep it short."who am i??" actually i hate this question .actually im too peterified of writing about myself on various social networking sites including that stupid "orkut"too .even though i spend my more than 5 hours daily on orkut i call that stupid i wonder y???intially when i started i use to chat wid sooo many people but now its just  limited talking to family and friend's....okay i luv talking to strangers.actually i luv knowing about different people but people on networking sites are more than hideous actually preposterous.you know even if one wanna talk to different type of people one cant on these networking sites .take my advice if ur a gal never talk to another on networking  sites.most of the gals over there are actually lesbo's or "god knows wat" .not that i hate lesbian people but i actually cant get along wid this kinda people.the very idea of getting involve wid people of same sex seems dirty to me.i thought i was very unconventional but i realised im very traditional when it comes to sexuality and love.like many girls of my age or may be very few i grew up watching rapunzel and cindrella.platonic love ,"happily ever after"these ideas seems very romantic to me.i may be called regressive by today's standard but thats how i am.im turning 19 in a week & im missing somebody "special"in my life.im feeling empty .but i dnt wanna turn into desperate looser.while there was never a year in which i never had crush on ne1 but u know nthing never worked or may be i didnt  wanted anything to work.i loved commitment but i feared 1."finding love online"this very idea seems too filthy to me.i mean its really stupid yaar despite  that everytime i had conversation with some interesting guys(they were very few)i had crush on them.these days im hooked on to some banker whu's like in late 20's.and says really cute things about me.but i know someday this crush will die too .my many friend's and cousins have gone in for dis internet lover sort of thing but u knw i get pissed off when some "virtual"friend asks my number or plans to meet up.i actually kick that kinda people out of my profile.but u knw he's nt told me anything of this sort to me and has some really intelligent people in his profile but whu know's these seemingly gud guys turns into wat??nobody know's.....u knw few days back i had conversation frm smbdy frm iima n he was soo cheesy yak!!!!i thought these brainy guys are inaccessible.i may be wrong but i came to conclusion that almost all guys are cheesy,desperate .....whu are ready to jump into u know wat  ...  im extremely uncomfortable with porn .i mean its so filthy,vulgar.but i know like all guys watch dis.if my man was caught watching any of these stuff i would kick him out of my life.nor can i sleep with every other guy or actually no guy before marriage.these days a guy looks for sexual satisfaction n then commitment,emotions or watever afterwards..il definately never approve of this.now i dnt think there is any single guy whu doesnt want anyof these things in a women b4 marriage in gal...well kissing ,peck and coochy cooing n all is okay but physical relation is too much....if u would have read my blog"how to arrange ur arrange marriage"you would have got  this idea that im really stubborn ,feminist women and i cant change that.n u know even if i get into arranged marriage sort of thing il be like very uncomfy wid the idea of knowing that actually my hubby had streamy past .i wanna be blisfully ignorant but u know i m too nosey so that wont be possible....so i come to conclusion that it wont be possible for me to be in relationship and blisfully married sort of thing.so i better concentrate on my career perhaps.i may make it to gr8 bschool (seeing the amount of hard work i put into its not at all possible)but even if i do wat will change??i may get too many proposals but again the same criteria's.i feel if i think too much about this i may die out of depression but best is to leave on god